


Brinkmanship

by Fairfaxleasee



Series: Nathaniel/Sloane [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:34:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29412726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairfaxleasee/pseuds/Fairfaxleasee
Summary: Nathaniel's relationship with Sloane Cousland is at a crossroads.  They both want to go the same way, but neither of them is willing to be the first to say it.
Relationships: Female Cousland/Nathaniel Howe, Nathaniel Howe/Female Warden
Series: Nathaniel/Sloane [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2153115
Kudos: 2





	Brinkmanship

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at fairfaxleasee.tumbr.com (asks open)
> 
> Thanks to @blondetexan and @xqueen0fhellx for betaing.

“Leaving again, Nathaniel?”

Despite himself, Nathaniel Howe turned back to face Sloane Cousland on the bed where he’d left her.

_ Why must I always rise to her bait? _

He had no idea. The woman had been leading him around by the nose since he’d met her over fifteen years ago. He was eight, she was five and they hadn’t been able to leave each other alone since. Her shadow had followed him to the Free Marches, where no matter what he did or who he was with, he just couldn’t get her out of his head. Despite what she was implying, he wasn’t leaving her. He couldn’t; she was still right there with him. Where she’d been since they met. Where she’d always be.

When she came into view, he expected to be met with the accusatory stare from her ocean blue eyes, ‘ _ How dare you try to ignore me _ ’ seared in the expression. But all he saw was her back. That… wasn’t what she was supposed to do. She should be goading him, daring him,  _ tempting him _ . Not… giving up on him.

He strode across the room to the other side of the bed so he could see her face. He half-hoped that she would turn over and away from him as he approached. If she did, this would just be her new way of teasing him. He understood her teasing him, he could handle her teasing him. But she didn’t move, except for the finger she was using to trace small circles on her dark sheets. She was so pale against them. If it weren’t for the marks he’d left on her she’d look like a Fade Spirit. Her eyes were down and her whole affect was flat. Just as her voice had been. Which was probably what had gotten his attention in the first place.

“Are you asking me to stay, Sloane?”

She trained her eyes on him, “Are you saying you’ll stay if I ask?” She was all defiance now; goading him again - begging him to meet her challenge.

He put his hands on the mattress and leaned towards her, “Is that your way of asking me?”

“Is that your way of saying you will?” She was trying to remain defiant, but he could feel something new creep into her words and eyes. Something he’d been  _ waiting for _ . And something that terrified him.

They kept staring at each other; he knew she didn’t want him going anywhere any more than he wanted to go anywhere, and he knew she knew he knew. But neither one of them was willing to be the first to say it. They were too stubborn, too proud. Too scared.

“Ask me to stay, Sloane.”

“Say you’ll stay, Nathaniel.” She pushed herself up off the mattress so their eyes were level.

He wanted to grab her hair to hold her in place as he kissed her, then wind his arms around her and never let her go. But that would be admitting he’d stay. And he just couldn’t do that. Instead he whispered, “Ask me.”

“ _ Say it _ .” He saw a few tears escape her eyes.

He swallowed and set his jaw. He  _ hated _ that he was making her cry; but he couldn’t admit just how much she mattered. “I won’t stay unless you ask me.”

“I won’t ask you unless you’ll stay.”

“...fine.” He pushed off the mattress and resumed getting dressed.

He expected her to say  _ something _ back to him; ‘fine,’ ‘have it your way,’ ‘why are you such a fucking bastard, Nathaniel Howe,’ but all he heard was a soft thump that must have been her falling back to the mattress. And the only thing left for her to hear would be the door closing behind him.


End file.
